Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Sholo-ana Bangaliyana Pottermania

With the release of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the fourth in the series of the young wizard’s celluloid forays, Pottermania is back. And like millions of Pottermaniacs, I too have been infected. Which is probably why, I couldn’t keep myself from trying to imagine what it would have been like if this literary phenomenon had been thought up by Jyotsna Kumari Roy instead of Joanne Kathleen Rowling. What if the setting for the adventures had been India, specifically Kolkata? And what if all the characters were Bong instead of English?

An all-Bong cast may have looked something like this:
Our hero is Harihar Poddar — the boy with the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead, the only person to have survived the ‘Jahanname Ja’ curse. After the death of his parents Jayanta and Lily Poddar, Hari had been staying at No. 4, Paikpara Row with his uncle Barin Das, aunt Putul and cousin Dudul. However, before he came to know that he was a boy wizard on his 11th birthday, Hari’s only brush with magic was the one time his mashi-mesho had taken him and Dudul to Mahajati Sadan for P.C Sorcar Jr.’s magic show.
Hari’s two closest friends are Haimanti Gangopadhyay and Runu Bijli.
Haimanti is a typical South Calcutta girl, and stays with her parents somewhere near Dover Lane. She is a good student and always tops her class at La Martinere Girls School. She also talks in the typically affected South-Cal Bangla. So whenever she accompanies her bapi to the Gariahat market, she can’t help saying say, “Uff! The road is so kaada-paanch-paanch!”
On the other hand, Runu, as the name suggests, hails from West Bengal’s Medinipur district. As magical an area as any, and not least because of the fact that compared with the rest of the state this district accounts for the highest number of JEE aspirants annually. Runu is the youngest of the six Bijli brothers — namely, the twins Fatik ‘Fonte’ and Gouranga ‘Nonte’, Paresh, Charu and Balai. Runu also has a sister, Ginnia.
Hari goes to the Ha-Ja-Ba-Ra-La Jaadu Bigyan BidyaPeeth (Uccho-Madhyamik), a school for wizards. The school was recognised by the West Bengal Board for Secondary Education after the board members (much to their delight!!) came to know that English didn’t figure on its curriculum. Ha-Ja-Ba-Ra-La’s Headmaster Alokesh Damodar, a kind and genial old man, is considered one of the greatest wizards of modern times. Among the many interesting characters at Ha-Ja-Ba-Ra-La are Prof. Mrinalini Mohoni Ganguly, a strict disciplinarian who teaches Transfiguration; Subiresh Sengupta, the Potions teacher who has a particular dislike for Hari; and Robi S. Hajari, who teaches Care of Magical Creatures, and is a personal friend of our hero.
Hari’s biggest enemy in school is the almost universally disliked Dhrubo Moloy Roy. Dhrubo is always accompanied by his equally unpleasant friends, Benoy Kanti Karak and
Gora Gori Gogoi.
However, Dhrubo is the least of Hari’s worries because he has more formidable adversaries to deal with, like Lord Baldeo M.A. R.T., the most powerful evil wizard of all time.
So join the boy-turned-adolescent wonder as he battles the Dark Lord in the following adventures:
Hari Poddar aar Darshoniker Pathar
Hari Poddar aar Gupto Ghar
Hari Poddar aar Aaj-khabona’r Bondi
Hari Poddar aar Agun Niye Gooblet

Hari Poddar aar Phanikusumer Hukum
Hari Poddar aar Aadhkhana Juboraj

ROTFWL. This is the best yet, Tridib. Love 'Runu Bijli' -- won't be able to read Harry Potter ever now without thinking of this. 'Adhkhana juboraj' and 'Aaj-khabonar Bondi' hilariously
surrealistic -- or the other way round.

Now I know why I consented to washing your socks for life.

Now that you have transplanted the pantheon to familiar territory, Pottermania is finally making sense to me.

The grapevine also says there will be a Jharkhandi edition with Haria Patar Toppo and Valde Murmu as protagonists. And a Punjabi edition with Harindar P 'Rocky'. The flying car will surely have "Harri di gaddi" inscribed on it.
you are the boss of all bloggers.
what an imagination. long live hari poddar.
this is exactly how bolywood 'adopts' holywood movies.
guru, tumi sukumar roy er sandesh take abar bachiye tolo.
best post read so far in blog world.
Mosht ekshellent shaar! Wish you'd devote a little more time to blogging instead of condescending to mingle with us mortals only once every blue moon.

And Marauder's Map: too much information! (ref. socks)
Am I right in assuming that this post contains autobiographical elements?
Marauder's Map: At last, a post that seems to have met with your approval. I sometimes thank my lucky stars that I am not a writer, neither are you my commissioning editor! (Shudder!) Frightening thought! And as far as the socks are concerned... I guess I will let that pass. Methinks Jabberwock will not approve of such domestic matters being discussed in public.
Fool: Eagerly awaiting both the Jharkhandi and Punjabi versions. And hoping Ms Rowling won't raise any copyright issues!
Ghetufool: You flatter me, sir! Sukumarbabu'r legacy shamlabar jonyo to apni achhen. Desh theke San-desh khub ekta door noy!
Jabberwock: Talking about mingling, I better book an appointment with you in advance. Will be in Delhi in second week of Dec. So please keep yourself free for drinkie session. About autobiographical elements in post, well, for some time was besotted with Haimanti-type character while in school. And, no, nobody ever took me to Mahajati Sadan for P.C. Sorcar. Always had to rely on friends recounting their accounts of their brushes with magic.
Yes, Priti (Patnaik) told me you were going to be here around then. Will definitely plan big party. Look forward to it.
gurudeb!!! *does shashtango pronipaat*
de la grandi mephistopheles (I'm sure the ignorant wifey won't get this reference)
only one caveat, philosopher's stone becomes poroshpathor in bangla, but that doesn't sound half as hilarious, unless one gets the shworgoto kali bandopadhyay to play alokesh damodar
Hello, me not know about de la grandi? Will have you know I know my Narayan G backwards, while my pretentious other half has gleaned all knowledge of the same from just one source - yours truly. Let's have a Tenida quiz one of these days.
Came here via kaashyapeya's blog. Ki aar bolbo...brilliant!!!!!! Ha-Ja Ba-Ra-La Bidya Peeth!!!! ROFL!!! henceforth think of Avada Kedavra as Jahanname Ja :-)
One of the brilliant posts ever...
Such talent being wasted...please do something about it!!!
amarta translate korbe?
see you in december, jodi jabberwock daake amake.
Kaashyapeya: Dhanyabad, bhai! And, point taken on poroshpathor!
Marauder's Map: Not true. I also know my Tenida, OK?!
Ron: Thanks. You've got a cool blog out there.
Rashomon: It's in the genes you know!
Samit: Honoured. Delhitay definitely dekha karna mangta. Also, Manticore'r ekta autographed copy chai!
am surprised a bong would read harry potter....

even though its not written by rabindranath tagore..


**tongue in check**
Absolutely Brilliant! ROTFLMAO!
Arzan: You will be surprised to know that Bongs grow up reading Bong translations of everything from Tarzan to Tolstoy!
Nina: Thanks. MAO??? So, what was that after you started rolling on the floor?!
ROTFLMAO:Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.
Loved your translation. Particularly loved the name-changes although I couldn't choose among the book titles for favourites. When I become a famous pulisher someday remind me to beg you write something for us! :-)
Very nice, sir. But I do prefer "Hori Patro O Porosh Pathor". Think Tulshi, Johor, Bhanu et al. With a back-lit Ajitesh as Badol Morttyo ...

Sue: Very generous of you. Thanks to your kind words, I can almost feel the Great Indian Novel start stirring and taking shape inside of me!
J.A.P.: I agree, Badol Morttyo sounds definitely better. And who do you think would have done justice to Hori? Kushal Chakravarti?
And if this guy sitting next to me at work thinks i'm insane to be rotflmao... i know whom to blame :D
This certainly ranks one of the best i have read on the blogdom. I confess I have not read Harry Potter and pretty much untouched my the mania... But I can easily relate the analogies.. That I felt was the marvellous part..
Kaushik: Thanks, buddy! Yes, when I was writing it I could almost picturise some of the characters in my head!
i was out looking for harry potter sites to get ideas for mine... and somehow landed here. still haven't figured out the search engines. anyway... looks good.
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